Thursday 28 September 2017

innerspeaker



My wife shared me in Whatsapp the video of the 16 year old kid who whacked his mother just because he didn't get enough money.

It pains my heart.

Then some days later there was this video interviewing the mother, whom somehow protected the kid from any blame for the "misforgivings" that happened previously.

It pains my heart even more.

Somehow, my wife's break-day is today, she went to my in laws, and went to her sister's house too. Seeing cute baby Chayra and naughty older sister Sabrina.

As she send me photos of Chayra and Sabrina, I thought of something.

The news is negative in some way. NEWS = Notable Events, Weather and Sports.

If something has to be notable, most of the time it is negative in nature.

Like the news about the "dobi" laundry in Johor that was "restricted" to Muslims only, and Sultan Of Johor came out on front page of The Star newspaper saying it is wrong.

If everything is fine, the news will just be dull, there's nothing to be noted, everything is just fine.

But something negative has to be found to be noted, and reported, for you and we to watch, analyse and comment.

What if, those news, don't let it linger too long in the mind, just delete it as you delete those unwanted or noisy Whatsapp message.

Worry about the world going to shit ways? Well it was many years now the earth has turned, million liters blood spill, yet every generation die and born, remembering and forgetting, and in the end, the world progress in some way.

I'm 35 years, and the moments are flying fast then in some months, I'll be 36 years old.

One thing in this short life, take lesson from the news, or if you could not, just forget it, and fill those space in your head with good fond moments.

from their debut album, Innerspeak (2010)

Said the voice from afar,
Don't you know it doesn't have to be so hard? 
Waiting for everyone else around to agree,
Might take too long

When it won't be so hard,
(It won't be so hard)

Well it's true, yes, but you
won't get far 
telling me that you are 
all you're meant to be, 
when the one from our dream 
is sitting right next to me 

and I don't know
what to do
Oh alter ego.

Get them to love you,
While they may depending on your words and wealth,
The only one who's really judging you is yourself.
Nobody else.

Well it's true, yes, but you
won't get far 
telling me that you are 
all you're meant to be, 
when the one from our dream 
is sitting right next to me 

and I don't know
what to do
Oh alter ego.

Instrumental track from this cool album

the original photo for the Innerspeak album cover

It features an image of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina, United States. The original image has been digitally altered using the Droste effect in recursion to make it appear as if the image continues into itself, creating a distinctly psychedelic feeling reminiscent of Pink Floyd's album cover for Ummagumma. - Wikipedia

Friday 22 September 2017

sweet feeling today / 22-24 sept 2018 holiday


Today is a bliss silent event, thank god.

I'm online, while listening to Alvvays 2014 self titled album, while watching FB, the cynical funny exchanges between Thukul Cetak and Neon Berapi, and watching Umaru-chan and Kill Me Baby in Youtube (reading the subtitle while listening to Alvvays song being played).

They were friends, and despite the differences, and the threat of going to court, I guess they are and always be friends that poked upon each other.

Just like the kids in this noisy CC playing games with each other.

I met my mom and my bro the day before, everything and everyone and every story was right and fine.

It looked like it's going to rain, but up to 5 pm, the rain yet to come. The sky is bright with murky colors of heavy clouds filled with water drops that looks like it's going to drop soon.

And yet everything is still windy and dry outside.

Some of my relatives were quite angry due to the change of date of the Awal Muharram.

At first, I shared on my FB about how the date took change, from the Mufti POV, but then i guess it's a mistake when I saw my relatives sarcastic replies.

It was a mistake because I realised it's just silly to get angry since everybody, including those angry relatives,  are actually enjoying the Friday holiday (since the next day is Saturday, so most will just take leave from Friday up to Sunday).

So why bother? Just forget the small things, and stay in this lovely idleness under the bright murky Friday evening sky.

Wish you guys all the peace and the warm happiness.



How do I get close to you?
Even if you don't notice
As I admire you on the subway

When it's dark outside your house
You won't let anybody out
And keep a padlock on your door

One more cocktail
And I'm on your trail

If I should fall
Act as though it never happened
I will retreat
And sit inside so very quietly

How do I grow old with you
Even if you don't notice
As I pass by you on the sidewalk

When it's dark outside your house
You won't let anybody out
You're keeping a dead girl in the closet

One more cocktail
Is it a good time
Or is it highly inappropriate?

If I should fall
Act as though it never happened
I will retreat
And then go back to university

If I should fall
Act as though it never happened
I will retreat
And sit inside so very quietly

Why won't we stop?
Why won't we stop?
Why won't we stop?

If I should fall
Act as though it never happened
I will retreat
And sit inside so very quietly

If I should fall
Act as though it never happened
I will retreat
And then go back to university


Tuesday 19 September 2017

nonchalant in a boat on a stormy sea

Note : The preposition in the topic is wrong.
            It should be "being non-chalant, on a boat at a stormy sea"
            But then I just leave it like that without edit.




Sukhoi Su-33 and Mig-29K on board the Admiral Kuznetsov in stormy seas
Photo source : FB page Aircraft of the Cold War




Just now I read this.



I followed these guys for years now, from their start in social media, writing and book publishing.

One small thing which I dislike about these guys is about the "menganjing" or "trolling", but then they always write interesting stuff.

And after years, they fought among themselves.




A writer I liked, publicly post in his FB about cannabis, butterscotch cookies, it pains my heart, simply because my childhood friends, and relatives are victims of drug abuse.


It is a bit like diabetes. During the early years, you joke about it, take lightly of the doctors advise.

Then suddenly, shit happens.

For drug abusers, usually something happened drastically, the same like diabetes patient.




A relative of mine had "psychosis", he heard voices.

The problem with us Malays is that we believe in spirits, "jinns", and spent time and effort focusing on that, forgetting that this is actually psychosis that stems from drug abuse.

What I meant by being "non-chalant on a boat at a stormy sea" is, the same feeling of a father, whom found out that his son had this drug abuse problem, but the problem is so severe, the police had come into the picture and took action,
which at that moment of time, the father can't do anything.


All he can do, is just to watch events happen, unfolding in front of his eyes.

The look on his face, is that "one thousand yard stare" type of look.


And truly, all he did, was just to stare non-chalantly in his sinking boat on a stormy sea, accepting whatever fate.


Looking at that writer, and the article by Pipiyapong there, made me feel the same way like that father of the drug abuser.


Monday 18 September 2017

why I didn't bother to comment about the recent Tahfiz school fire case?

PT-91M Pendekar, photo source : https://www.facebook.com/tanksbeingtanks/


The answer to the question posted in this entry's topic is : bandwagon

Since I had worked in the fire fighting industry previously, I had friends who shared their opinions on the issue, and I learnt then to keep my mouth shut until the authorities finished their investigation.

By the time it occured, so much noise in the social media screwing the Tahfiz schools, pointing mismanagement, so much bla bla. Suddenly everybody is concerned. Suddenly everybody criticise. There's a newspaper which did a study and showed that more than 200 fire cases involving tahfiz schools, with the effect of indirectly implying poor safety. 

Everybody with their chicken noises. Bandwagon.

And somehow people started checking out fire extinguishers price. Some did buy. But some of them, after knowing the price, I realised that their intention was "hey the fire extinguishers are so damn cheap, why didn't the Tahfiz schools bla bla bla....".

I thought due to this Tahfiz case, the people will suddenly realise and had this awareness of fire safety.

But I was wrong. It was just in their lips. Nothing deep really. The tahfiz case, the fire safety are just something to talk about in their idle time.

When the investigation concluded that it was an arson case, those who criticise like a concerned fire safety activist, most of them didn't apologise but still talk, FB post, and tweets about fire safety in tahfiz schools.

Do they really care?

I think actually most people are just following the bandwagons. By few weeks people will just forget and return to the same old shit again. It is just hype and trendy.

To those who really thought of installing fire extinguishers at their home, here are some contacts of KL fire fighting equipment suppliers.

Unique Fire Industry - 03 5131 2731

SRI (Steel Recon Industries) - 03 8023 2323

Eversafe - 03 8024 9898

Fedapi - 03 3344 6482

Fire Fighter Industry Sdn. Bhd - 03 7962 9999


Just my opinion. Whenever you read the latest news about something, try to exercise some prudence. Try to keep your mouth shut and observe. You think it's clever to be critical.

But then, at the end of the day, you are just hyped by what you read or watch on TV. You are indirectly affected actually. Somehow, it will burn your emotion and you feel unhappy.

So relax, just don't get affected. Sometimes it is best to let few days went by and see what happens.

By this, hopefully you can discern the truth from the fictional reality created by the media and the society's "chicken noises".



Crisis feeds the lunacy
All fear the new machine
Consumed democracy returns a socialist regime

It's laid to rest without contest
All hail the new incompetence
Making you see what to believe
A drone in the world of anarchy

Treachery, mysery, violence, insanity
Scavengers closing in
Covering the truth again
Castrate society
Fictional reality

Insecurity afraid of things you cannot see
Words become the image of the enemy
You cannot dissect what is correct
Vengeance based on how things are said
Can't see your side - conflicts with mine
Frustrations lead to complete demise

Treachery, mysery, violence, insanity
Scavengers closing in
Covering the truth again
Every trial conspiracy
Compassion is the enemy
Paralyse, criticize
Breaking through the wall of lies

Suicidal hierarchy racing in reverse
Everything that's done today will be tomorrow's curse

Screams in my head preceed your death
Can't hold the rage when the truth is shed
Blind lead the blind line after line
In a world too shallow to defy

Treachery, mysery, violence, insanity
Scavengers closing in
Covering the truth again
Castrate society





Saturday 16 September 2017

i thought i knew it all

Artist: Megadeth
Album: Youthanasia
Song: I thought I knew it all

Transcribed by: Christopher Heer & David Corrales (solo)
Source: http://www.nebula.on.ca/heer/fivemagics/index.html
              http://megadeth.rockmetal.art.pl
Eb Tuning

 
Intro
-------------------
-------------------
-------------------
-4--------3--------
-4--------3--------
-2--------1--------

 
Verse
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
-------4/5-------7----3--------7/8--------7----5--
-0--0--2/3-0--0--5----1--0--0--5/6--0--0--5----3--

In verse sing:

Somewhere there's a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there's a reason
Why somethings just fall through
We don't always see them
For what they really are
But I know there's a reason,
Just can't see it from this far




Pre-Chorus
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
---2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0-----2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0---
-0-----0-----0-----0-----------------------------------------
-------------------------------1-----1-----1-----1-----------
-------------------------------------------------------------
   May ~be     I        don't             like it,            but          I             have   no choice,
 
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
---2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0-----2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0---
-------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------0------0-----0-----0-----------
-3-----3-----3-----3-----------------------------------------

   I             know     there's      somewhere        someone  hears     my          voice
 
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
---2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0-----2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0---
-0-----0-----0-----0-----------------------------------------
-------------------------------1-----1-----1-----1-----------
-------------------------------------------------------------

May ~be     I        don't             like it,            but          I             have   no choice, 

-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
---2p0---2p0---2p0---2h3p2p0-----2p0---2p0---0---2p0--2p0--0-
-------------------------------------------------------------
-2-----2-----2-----2-----------3-----3-----3---4----4-----4--
-------------------------------------------------------------

   I             know      that         somewhere,        someone   hears     my     voice


Chorus
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
----------------5--------2----------------7---------
-2--------------5--------2----------------7---9-----
-2--------------3--------0----------------5---6-----
-0--------------------------------------------------
 
   I thought I knew it all
                                                            I thought I had it made
  How could it end this way?
                                                             I thought I knew


Then this lyric in the 2nd verse:-

Somewhere there's a reason
Why things don't go my way
Somewhere there's a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season,
Just may not be my turn
But I know there's a reason,
The lesson's mine to learn  

Tuesday 5 September 2017

Action not words






Dialogue :

[Eve's room. House busts in.]

HOUSE: You gotta tell me what happened.

EVE: You don't really wanna hear.

HOUSE: [undoing her binds] Sure I do.

EVE: You're lying.

HOUSE: Doesn't have to destroy your life.

EVE: I know.

HOUSE: Doesn't mean anything about you. Wasn't your fault.

EVE: I know.

HOUSE: You did nothing wrong. Some jerk hurt you, that's all.

EVE: [sitting up] I know.

HOUSE: You're worried that you can never trust men again.

EVE: [shaking her head] No.

HOUSE: Statistically, there was always a chance this could happen. The fact that it did happen doesn't change anything. World doesn't suck anymore today than it did yesterday.

EVE: I know all that.

HOUSE: [no idea what to say] Then what do you want me to tell you?

EVE: Nothing. I just want to talk.

HOUSE: About nothing.

[She nods.]

HOUSE: We talk about nothing, nothing will change.

EVE: It might.

HOUSE: How?

EVE: Time. Time changes everything.

HOUSE: [trying to shrug it off] It's what people say. It's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things,... leaves things exactly as they were.

[She looks at him tearfully.]


I received a message from my mom that my stepfather had a stroke.

So I rushed to Gleanagles Ampang.

Turns out, he didn't ate his diabetes medication for two months or so. And during the holidays of Aidil Adha, while visiting relatives at Sentul, suddenly his speech went slurry, he was unable to find words. They rushed to Gleanagles Ampang right away.

The sugar reading was high, that the hospital stabilised him first with insulin and saline. They did MRI. it seems that a nerve around the neck is seen as "swollen". I do not know how to correctly describe it, so I just write here at best.

My mom only info-ed me some days later. And when I arrived, he was able to speak, not only that, he was eating quite "heavily" for someone who had just suffered stroke.

I was there in the room, with my stepdad and my mom, when the BBC news on the hospital's TV, aired the news about Rohingya.

Then my stepdad, spoke and spoke about his opinion on Rohingya.
It felt endless. The speech. As my mom was tired, and I myself was tired too. My wife is still in her working shift so she wasn't in the room.

At first I wanted to correct my stepdad about his thoughts on Rohingya, but, slowly, my rationale sinks deep in my head, it is quite stupid to argue with someone about Rohingya.

What's more if that person just stabilised from his stroke days ago, wasn't it?

Even if I successfully "converted" my stepdad to the good cause, it's not that he will do something good actively for the Rohingyas right away..he just suffered a stroke don't you see?
And not that he will donate or do some active thing to help. Most probably he'll sleep that night feeling tired after the talk, the speech, and worried more about his sugar reading waking up the morning after.

I felt it's a futile exercise, some more after I heard about his logic on "foreigners" in Pasar Borong Selayang. Isn't it that it was actually the locals, looking for quick bucks, that actually rented their "wet-market-lots" to these foreigners in the first place? And now the locals are made screeching noises about it without realising that they're the ones who rented out to this folks?

Then my step-dad got bored, when outside for a puff. Cigarette smoking of course.
My mom just obliged to accompany him, as I was actually going back home then.

While waiting for my wife's shift to end, I went to nearest Cybercafe, and looked at FB.
The first 10 minutes was beautiful as it was full of photos of my nieces, my friend's sons and daughters happy faces.

Then I read some people I followed. Oh, only then I realised there was this noises online about Rohingya's and about Malaysians who disliked them.

What I felt is, the people who made most critics and most noises, are just like the above character who just suffered from the stroke. It's far more different than the people, involved in the NGO's who were actively helping the Rohingya's with effort. Those who did the actual work, their words have more logic, explained by historical facts. The one's hating, just repeat the stereotype, without nothing to learn. The only logic offered is, "oh try to have Rohingya sleep in your home then"?

Did they actually let Rohingya's slept at their home then, to say like that?
I think they just repeat what others said about what others said about what others think and said about Pasar Borong Selayang.

But in the end, no matter what, nothing happens. Just noises. The Rohingya's are still like what they are, the people commenting fell asleep as usual and the world keeps turning.

Actually for me, there's a "hikmah" (lesson learned), it's not every year when Malaysia National Day, Arafah Day (the Islamic day when Muslims are taught they are equal) are celebrated quite close, that the people's beliefs are challenged patriotically, nationally and religiously in the Rohingya's issue.

Another thing I learned, is the word "stroke".

For a third party who heard the word "stroke", it is scary as hell. For a third party, there's no comprehension of mini stroke, TIA (transient ischemic attack, where a part of brain experience temporary lack of blood flow), dysphasia (unable to speak), mild stroke, severe stroke. For loved ones, a stroke is heard as scary as hell.

Even though the one who experience it can be normal days after.

http://www.healthline.com/health/stroke/signs-symptoms-tia-mini-stroke#risk-factors5


Third world countries starved of nutrition. 
Look to the west to end their starvation. 
Skeleton framed figures of what was children. 
Real relief for the sickly

C/:
That's right push your tea tray away from you before you spew up 
It's a fact real life is much more horrible than fiction

That's right turn the switch elsewhere on your telly 
Wasn't it disgusting to view such bloated bellies 
Writhing tortured bodies ant like on the ground 
That's right turn the volume button down

Inhumanities free westerners still know exists 
Do nowt to help the underprivileged 
Action not words are needed to help 
But all they will say is that someone must pay

Third world countries starved of nutrition 
Look to the west to end their starvation 
Skeleton framed figures of what was children 
Real relief for the sickly