Sunday, 20 August 2017

walk away

 photo source :

photo source :

photo source :

Just now, as we came back from work, we had our dinner at nearest Mamak food stall, then straight back home to cuddle with each other in front of TV.

Guess what? There was no ASTRO signal reception, which was quite surprising, since there was no rain and the sky was clear.

Further check with ASTRO customer service, and after few technical checkups, I was convinced that the ASTRO dish, or the wiring was damaged.

The suspect?

We felt angry and screwed, and went to sleep in anger and bitching about the bloody neighbourhood.

That's why, if you followed my blog, I kinda hate Islamic preaching. Because most mis-happenings in my life are due to Muslims. You can call them Malay or what.

I remembered on my last project, where the main contractor's and consultant's engineers, sometimes keep asking for favours, either asking for meal or dinner dining, sometimes asking monetary favours, which did fall under bribery, but then, as subcons, we had no choice but to oblige,as suddenly then our work or approval to do something is made "difficult".

All of those "shitholes" are Muslims.

That's why, for me, religious is personal kinda thing, because people are abusing it and are "abused" themselves. You keep harping about Islamic beauty and all, but then you are not helped by what you see.

So I walk away from these people. 

I go to my surau and prayed, but then, I don't hope much for the Muslim as there are times my slippers got stolen and I had to walk back from the surau to my house barefooted.

I do feel like being in a crisis of faith, like understanding the atheist view, the Epicurus, the agnostics, and in the same time you see all this shit Muslims. 

But then, there are good ones.

There are good people.

There are good Muslims.

 And there is goodness and the only thing to go on, in this life, is to move forward, walk away and focus of the good ones, while trying to footdance in the pathway to avoid those little shits in the walkway.

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

August the 8th


Tuning: standart(EADGBe)




    Dadd9    D        Eadd9      E



                 Aadd9(x2)               F#madd9(x2)
Every breath you take and every move you make
                 Dadd9               Eadd9                F#madd9(x2)
Every bond you break every step you take I'll be watching you
             Aadd9(x2)              F#madd9(x2)
Every single day and every word you say
               Dadd9               Eadd9                Aadd9(x2)
Every game you play every night you stay I'll be watching you


              Dadd9             Cadd9
..Oh can't you seeeeeee             you beloong  to

   meeee                       how my poooor heart

    aaaaaches                with every steeep you

     Eadd9                 Eadd9

[Verse 2]

  Every move you make,
  Every vow you break,
  Every smile you fake
  Every claim you stake,
  I\\\'ll be watching you.


  Since you've been gone, I've been lost without a trace,
  I dream at night I can only see your face,
  I look around but it's you I can't replace,
  I feel so cold and I long for your embrace,
  Eb                             G
  I keep crying baby, baby please.


 Aadd9    x2
 F#madd9  x2
 Dadd9    x1
 Eadd9    x1
F#madd9   x2

 Aadd9    x2
 F#madd9  x2
 Dadd9    x1
 Eadd9    x1
 Aadd9    x2


              Dadd9             Cadd9
..Oh can't you seeeeee              you beloong  to

   meee                       how my poor heart

    aaaches                with every steeep you

     Eadd9                 Eadd9

[Verso 3]

  Every move you make,
  Every vow you break,
  Every smile you fake
  Every claim you stake,
  I\\\'ll be watching you.
  Every move you make,
  Every step you take
  I'll be watching you
                     Aadd9(x2) F#madd9 Dadd9
  I'll be watching you

Yesterday night, I woke up in the middle of the night and watched my wife sleeping.
And I remembered, 8th August 2015, 2 years ago I got engaged to this lovely silly snoring angel.

Before I did the tahajjud yesterday and all, actually I took my guitar and played this tune, while watching her snoring in content.

However it was quite awful that today I searched for the correct tab.

Anyhow I wished her today in FB and attached Come Undone by Duran Duran instead.

"We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, 
stay wilder than the wind
And blow me into cry"

Friday, 4 August 2017

Our own worst enemy

Just writing some stuff here in my mother-tongue.

A story of Malays in my neighbourhood.

Awal tahun ni, aku pernah tulis di sini, tentang masalah peribadi-perumahan.

Belakang rumah aku ada badminton court, masalahnya budak2 Melayu selalu main bola di situ hingga kerap cermin tingkap pecah. Budak2 berumur 16-18 tahun.

Bila cermin pecah, tak ada ganti rugi, masing2 buat diam.

Tika aku menyuarakan suara aku kepada budak2 tu, aku ditempik. Malahan ada sedikit pergelutan akibat panas hati.

Aku dah mengadu ke maintenance management, no action taken.

Nak tak nak, terpaksa juga keluarkan duit untuk buat besi penghadang ke kebanyakan cermin tingkap untuk elak pecah.

Paling sakit hati, ada satu dua kali, aku dengar budak2 tu menjerit sindir, "siapa yang nak cabar kami berhenti main bola ha?".

Apa boleh buat? Sabar dan doa banyak2.

Akhir Syawal baru ini, aku ada buat rumah terbuka dan ada jiran2 sekeliling yang datang.

Aku terkejut dengar apa yang diceritakan.

Awal tahun ini, MRT Fasa 1 siap,  di mana area rumah aku Subang, kini ada bas RM1 untuk ke MRT terdekat. Dan Julai lepas, MRT siap sepenuhnya sampai ke Kajang.

The catch?

Harga sewa rumah apartment aku meningkat dari RM500 kepada RM1,000 sebulan.

Rumah aku tingkat bawah corner lot,  harga sekitar RM110,000 tahun 2015. Aku bernasib baik beli dengan harga jauh lebih murah dari itu.

Jiran di lot depan rumah aku berpindah akibat tak tahan peningkatan sewa, beritahu aku harga jualan rumah yang ditawarkan tuan rumah, RM300,000.

Kini lot rumah itu kosong tanpa penyewa. Tapi harga sewaan tak turun.

Aku perhatikan agar ramai penyewa Melayu berpindah dari kawasan apartment, termasuklah beberapa keluarga yang anak2nya main bola di badminton court rumah aku itu.

Masih ada budak2 Melayu bermain bola lagi lepas Syawal baru2 ni, tetapi sudah tak seramai dan seganas dulu.

Kini, lebih ramai penghuni bangsa asing, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Myanmar yang menghuni kawasan apartment, kerana mereka tinggal beramai-ramai dalam satu rumah, maka mereka mampu dengan kos sewa RM1000 sebulan.

Satu perkara bagus ialah Surau area rumah aku kini lebih ramai pengunjung.
Subuh pun boleh dapat 2 saf, (2 saf = two lines of people praying)
Maghrib dan Isyak dapat 4-5 saf.

My thoughts on this

Aku rasa, walaupun ramai Melayu menyalahkan PM Najib atas kesempitan hidup sekarang, tapi mungkin, we should blame ourselves.

Kalau nak kata ekonomi teruk, ramai juga watak seperti Datuk Vida dan Datuk Aliff Syukri tu ketika ekonomi agak teruk sekarang.

Aku rasa kebanyakan Melayu "mungkin" hilang keberkatan hidup.

Social media

Angkara media sosial mungkin satu punca hilang berkat hidup.

Keluarga artis yang bergaduh pasal karaoke, semua masuk komen dan mengecam.
Isu anak zina, banyak komentar sosial itu dan ini. Berdebat-debat tak sudah.
Tak campur lagi budak2 muda yang suka troll dan joke bodoh bagai.
Tentang filem Dunkirk pun orang ramai sibuk nak mengecam artis itu dan ini.

Komen, pendapat dan berdebat-debat.
But for what?
The feeling of becoming the next literary great?

Aku kini memilih untuk tak ambil tahu banyak berita semasa, apatah lagi nak keluarkan opinion bagai.


Melayu agak sensitif dengan agama.

Tapi, kalau benar-benar diperhati, kebanyakan orang Melayu ini alim-kah? Atau setakat "sembang-deras".

Kawasan apartment mak aku tiada surau, tapi di kawasan flat bersebelahan, ada satu surau.
Flat tersebut, majoriti Melayu Islam yang "middle-income", berpendapatan sederhana ke bawah.
Yang pergi ke surau, 5 orang. (Yang ini aku sendiri perhati sejak dulu).

Kawasan flat PPR ayah dan ibu mertua aku di Cheras, majoriti Melayu Islam yang berpendapatan sederhana ke bawah. Melayu Islam yang pergi ke surau waktu Ramadan tahun ini, 6-7 lelaki dewasa dan 5 lelaki remaja. 20 orang yang lain, Bangladesh.

Sedangkan di satu area elit di Damansara (berdekatan tempat kerja lama aku), RAMAI ke surau. Kereta-kereta jenama mewah memenuhi masjid tersebut hampir setiap malam Ramadan.

Media bodoh di TV selalu menggambarkan sebaliknya, tetapi itu lah yang aku perhatikan.


Kurangkan pendapat, tingkatkan pendapatan. Walk the talk.

Played out, wide off the mark,
Mania develops,
Akin to fiction,
More than to a word of fact.

My own worst enemy.
Life's foul treachery.

Dams of emotion build
A dull and turbid screen,
Cloudlike veils of black
In jungles of hopes oppressed.

So many times,
For no reason.
So many promised punches,
For what reason?

Ceaseless decay,
Parallel obscene and flagrant.
Ceaseless decay,
Restrained my mind coils.

The full speech
Cardigan's Commencement Address by Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr.


The full speech transcript
Thank you very much.

Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony. 

Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. 

Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. 

They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. 

That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.

Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause. 

Congratulations, class of 2017. You’ve reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. 

While you’ve been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.

[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]

Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. 

They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. 

And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. 

And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.

It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. 

And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. 

And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you.

I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. 

From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. 

I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. 

Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. 

I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. 

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. 

I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. 

Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. 

The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. 

In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. 

People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don't learn who you are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. 

And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live the good life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.

So that’s the deep advice. Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Other the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men

And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.

When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. 

Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.

You’ve been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.

The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. 

Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. 

Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. 

Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ 

Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. 

By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.

Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. 

It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:

May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young

Thank you.

Friday, 21 July 2017

if I would, could you?

What I felt about Chester Bennington's suicide, is this.

Everybody makes mistakes, everybody had some sort of "past", every men you knew or never bothered, had and lived through their own Troubles.

I have friends who died at young age, some friends still struggling with addiction, jobs, life and whatever hell life has placed them. Some have moved on, on their own unique path.

Some achieved success, some saw faraway places. Some still begging in their prayers.

That's why I hate trolls, the norms of this generation.

They like to laugh on other's shittiness.

The truth is, most men I knew, try to walk as upright as they could,  with their Troubles in their back laying silent.

Some tripped, snapped and made decisions they could not revert.

I don't think most guys of the younger generations knew this, it seems to them whining is normal. And laughing at other's shit is normal.

It should be reminded, people have round shoulders for bearing heavy loads.

Alice In Chains - Would

Know me broken by my master
Teach thee on child of love hereafter

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Drifting body it's sole desertion
Flying not yet quite the notion

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?
And left you here alone?

Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?

And left you here alone?

Saturday, 15 July 2017

to lie dormant is certain death

a MIG-21.
Source : Facebook page Russian Aircraft

firdaus 9898

There is few guys with the ID firdaus 9898 which is not me nor have anything to do with this blog.

And somehow, with these happening, I felt lazy to update this blog, to spend time and effort for this blog, only to find other people just register things under the same name, and you can't do much shit of it because of internet neutrality and this is a goddam free world where everyone reserve their right for free speech and free to express themselves in whatever way they felt comfortable with.

But to delete this blog, I will not, simply because, everytime I got online, this blog will be a homepage for me to start surfing.

Anyhow, life's is ephemeral, and there will come a time when my physical body dies and God knows what happens to this blog.

world most epic handshake

Watching this video, only reminds me of recent Mahathir-Anwar relationship. (Malaysian shit politics)

other video which tickles my funny bones

positive tone in life

Read the comments section of this video, the funniest comment there is this.

"I was biking to school with this song on, and when it finished i won the tour de france."

Now I realised why most bloggers who are good in drawing characters, comics, sketches, seldom update their blog nowadays.

It's just not worth it.

People will just take it away and claim as theirs. Worse, they might abuse it and make it shameful.

"If you have a skill, if you have a talent, if you have experience doing something, never give it away for free. You should always charge and you should not be afraid of charging. Because, quite simply, number one, obviously, if you give something away for free you won’t make any money off of it. But number two, if you give something away for free, people won’t appreciate it as much."

And so this is a perfect song for this blog at this moment.

Auld Lang Syne is Scottish for "old long since".

The singing lyrics is this,

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?

Anyhow you can go wikipedia the song and the lyrics.

Monday, 10 July 2017

echoes / effortless

Eilif Peterssen - Summer Night, 1886
Source : Wikipedia


And so last week, I felt, was a week full of chicken noises.

Monday, a relative of mine, suddenly went berserk with his own religious interpretation of things, which I deemed insane, as  per entry

Then there was this issue of Shell girl.
Followed b this issue of a Muslim girl with her dog.

As usual,  everybody started shrieking like little chickens.
Including an online friend of mine. 

A lady.

As usual, she started bashing males all over for being stupid. When I commented, she told me I was being apologist, then I told her, I'm against stupidity, but hell, don't over-generalise all men..and somehow I felt tired of explaining things

 Then the second issue blew up, and she went into rocket-firing mode. She started bashing JAKIM, her logic is Quran comes first before Hadith, and Hadith is something that is...does not need to be followed?...only Quran is obligatory...and so forth. Since Quran does not forbid dogs, so why must we follow Hadith.... <== her logic.

From the time I started knew her, she was Anti-Hadith of some sort, hence this time, I knew well, that explaining things will only tire me, so I just kept quiet.

And I quietly removed her from the friendlist, and blocked her.

Why so harsh?

Last week, I was cruising the road with my small motorcycle while listening to Joe Satriani's Surfing With The Alien (mp3 player).

The sun was setting down, the orange brightness and the nearby gloominess nearing darkness.

It was then, I was captivated by this track "Echo", the last song from that album.

from Surfing With The Alien, 1987

After maghrib prayer at nearby musolla, I drove my motorcycle to a "romantic sight" nearby my house for a little time with myself, around 8pm or so.

I looked at the sky above, with the stars, planets and their moons, and God knows what and how much up there,

all glitters, and somehow, a thought came to my mind,

hey look at all those glitters, those are big mega things, and yet they moved around,
those big things, with their big issues and big agendas,
all moved silently 
in a space where there's no sound,
where those lights might light years behind,
and those beautiful lights might just be echoes.

While I'm here, in my small planet, where most people are noisy and rocket-driven, shouting and screaming to get their points across,
they might resort to bombing cities so that some leaders might agree,
and yet,

those big things up there move in silence and echoed in lights.

And so that's why I just kept quiet, blocked her FB from mine, as if our lines no longer intertwines,

and you know,
one day one of us might die and we all will stop communicating too,
so why not?

Suddenly I feel at ease, and remembered those who do stop communicating with me, for whatever reason there is,

I no longer blame you, and I now understand the feeling.

Whatever happened, as those things that is happening, will sometime in the future to come, 

be memories, and just echoes.

Still Another Day: XVII/Men

The truth is in the prologue.
Death to the romantic fool,
to the expert in solitary confinement,

I'm the same as the teacher from Colombia,
the rotarian from Philadelphia,
the merchant from Paysandu who save his silver to come here.

We all arrive by different streets,
by unequal languages,
at Silence.

by Pablo Neruda

from Surfing With The Alien, 1987

Eilif Peterssen - Under Salmesangen (In the Church) (1878)


I learned this "effortless" thing from  my wife, my sister-in-law and some female friends who are into elegant fashion, and the trend in the "tudung" / scarf fashion now is the Neelofa scarf.

And so, the catch here is, beauty itself is not a stand-alone quality, for beauty to become "elegant", it has to become "effortless".

The "effortless beauty", or so to speak, the element here is actually on being "natural", trying not too hard to look beautiful, the beauty has to be somewhat effortless.

If you type in Google "Effortless beauty", you can see for yourself.

Effortless is portrayed as a positive adjective, and it is cool to "look" effortless even though the action itself is hard to do.

For example, every soccer fans "wooohs" and "waaahs" over a cool flick at the ball by a player, a basketball player look cool when he tried to score that unbelievable 3 pointer, being effortless never cease to amaze and wonder people.

Eilif Peterssen - Lake Fishing, 1889
Source : Wikipedia

I remembered a story, told by my senior when I worked together with him in a shopping mall project.

There was a time in the company, where there were two senior engineers, that was about to be promoted to project manager, my senior and another guy.

Most site personnel seldom reports to office, they usually do it weekly and maybe once-a-month (to collect paycheck hehe). But there was this slight difference between this other guy and that senior of mine.

That senior of mine, was always "quiet" whenever he came back, he just smiled and had his cool persona, light heart jokes with colleagues, and then whatever discussion needed to be done, will be held personally 1-to-1, if it is with boss, they'll smoke outside and chat, or tea-time, 
if it is with the accounts or HR, then keep it brief and simple...

The other guy, I was told, always came back to office with a "drama". Meetings will be held, there will be an "aura" in the office signalling his attendance, he'll be busy with stuff, printing this and that.

Even though the other guy looked busy and productive, my senior was the one promoted. 

In this working life, not only you have to deliver, but you have to look "effortless" in delivering the results, if you want to go to the managerial level and above.

That's why, my senior explains, why most of his friends in construction, sleeps 3-4 hours daily in their homes, because they are busy preparing things for work. Never stay up late in office, hide your effort, deliver your results "effortless" ly.

The problem with generation nowadays in reading this, maybe, they emphasized too much on the style and look and not on the result. This is stupid, like wearing a cool blue necktie without wearing any shirt ie. naked.

“Rushing into action, you fail. 
Trying to grasp things, you lose them. 
Forcing a project to completion, you ruin what was almost ripe.”

- Lao Tzu 

from the 1998 Crystal Planet album (my first Joe Satriani album)

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Heritage Tourism Malaysia | Balai Seri Andika

This video is a project from UITM students, 
my cousin is the interviewer in this project.

This entry is to promote their video.

Monday, 3 July 2017

small talk

Gustave Courbet - Snow Effect, 1860
Source : Wikipedia

Last Saturday, my wife and I went to my auntie's house for Raya celebrations.
My mom was there too.

It was a joyous occasion, we were happy, and we took photos of the warm moments.

There's a photo of myself, my wife and my mother standing proud and happy, which I shared in my FB.

But, stupidly, I made a mistake of sharing it to someone dearest in Whatsapp.

I felt angry by his remarks.

But then I remembered I've written this in my blog.

'A man, I feel, is a shit asshole if he have these two shitty qualities at the same time.

1. Hot-tempered
2. Talkative'

As a man, don't talk when you're pissed off.  The quality of words will be shameful.

I tried to ignore but my heart felt fire.

So I read something online, and I searched Poemhunter (, I found some nice poems.

Don't Go Far Off

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

by Pablo Neruda

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die

by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Somehow I taken by my imagination while reading Pablo Neruda's "Don't Go Far Off", I drawn a picture in my head, of the KTM Komuter station, empty, silent, but someone alone waiting there.

And these words sprinkled out from the imagination.

"You might wait for a that train, asleep, for it will somehow rise back into action, for none of us could wait for lost time, for it will be long gone, whether you wait or not.

Hence, with that in mind, I wrote this sloppy thing in Malay and shared it in my FB.

Aku tadi dimarah orang

aku tadi dimarah orang
kerana gambar ini, mahu berperang
dikutuk aku di waktu petang
bagaikan aku berlaku sumbang

secara sinis aku diberitahu
dilontar pada ku pendapat berbuku buku
gambar2 ni sia2 lagi maudhu'
perbuatan tak berlandaskan tasawuf

aku beritahu, jangan marah2
gambar diambil di saat meriah
kenangan waktu ber-ramah tamah
mungkin anak aku nanti buat folio Sejarah

namun hati orang keras tak sudah
di Whatsapp nya aku gambar habuk sampah
"nah! jadikan lah pula ini hikmah"
kata2 sinis lagi menyampah

aku diam lagi membatu
baru kini sebabnya aku tahu
mengapa ISIS mengebom batu
di tempat sejarah dan di tempat sujud

bukankah dunia terlalu letih
banyak bising perkara remeh
banyak kecoh perkara leceh
banyak melayan drama sedih

semua orang kan berlalu pergi
semua orang kan berlalu mati
gambar ni menjadi bukti
hidup aku, pernah gembira dan disayangi

kita hidup sambil menanti
tapi saat pergi takkan kembali
aku kongsi untuk memori
untuk saat senyum senyum sendiri.

-sendiri sendiri 3 July 2017

Anyhow I want to end this on a light note.
So this is a Malay funny video on poetry.

Gado-Gado Sudut Puisi

(Update 9:58[m 3 July 2017 : I deleted the FB entry just now at 9:58pm. Quite a number of people "liked" it, but I don't want people to share and viral it, as there's a photo of myself, my wife and my mom.)

Friday, 30 June 2017

courage equal to desire

Young Girl Reading - Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot, 1868
A. Facebook 

I un-friended a lot of people on FB, usually those whom are interesting for me to follow, either their comics, words, opinions, etc.

I've come to a time, when I am now married with family, hence, privacy is something I treasure.
And so, in FB, I only "friended" those whom I knew well in real life, and felt secure with, with me sharing things I like
Nevertheless, I still follow those people, either by me clicking "follow" button or I typed their name in the FB "search".
A lot of family and baby photos of relatives and loved ones, whom I think, there's no need for others except those who I am comfortable with.

I also set my account to "Private".

The reason is easy. Some people might have idea that I commented on their pages so that I can make my FB account, or this blog famous.

I don't.

And I felt comfortable, that I can share whether I liked, personal or not, interesting or bored to death, whatever, to those whom really knew me personally.

I don't want to get pleased by people whom I don't know, it felt like prostitution.

To A Friend Whose Work Has Come To Nothing
 Now all the truth is out,
Be secret and take defeat

From any brazen throat,
For how can you compete,

Being honour bred, with one
Who, were it proved he lies,
Were neither shamed in his own
Nor in his neighbours' eyes?

Bred to a harder thing
Than Triumph, turn away
And like a laughing string
Whereon mad fingers play

Amid a place of stone,
Be secret and exult,
Because of all things known
That is most difficult.

by Willam Butler Yeats

B. Courage equal to desire 

Those who possessed The Cranberries most famous album, No Need To Argue (the Zombie album), will surely know there's one song entitled Yeat's Grave.

And only this morning, after I found boredom after what I read in FB, that I'm bothered to find the William Butler Yeats poem "No Second Troy" which were read by Dolores during the middle of the song.

No Second Troy

Why should I blame her that she filled my days,
With misery, or that she would of late
Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways,
Or hurled the little streets upon the great,
Had they but courage equal to desire?

What could have made her peaceful with a mind
That nobleness made simple as a fire,
With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind
That is not natural in an age like this,
Being high and solitary and most stern?

Why, what could she have done, being what she is?
Was there another Troy for her to burn?

by William Butler Yeats
published in 1916 in WB Yeats poetry collection entitled "Responsibilities and Other Poems".

I don't want to tell you the story behind WB Yeats and Maud Gonne, you can google it and learn yourself the story behind it, I guarantee you it is one of the most interesting broken love stories. 

A bit of golden spoon-feeding though, as per below links.

Silenced by death in the grave
William Butler Yeats couldn't save
Why did you stand here ?
Were you sickened in time?
But I know by now
Why did you sit here?

In the GRAVE

(then proceeds reading W.B. Yeats "No Second Troy"

Why should I blame her
That she filled my days
With misery or that she would of late
Have taught to ignorant men violent ways
Or hurled the little street upon the great
Had they but courage
Equal to desire

Sad that Maud Gonne couldn't stay
But she had Mac Bride anyway
And you sit here with me
On the isle Inisfree
And your writing down everything

But I know by now
Why did you sit here
In a grave ...

Why should I blame her
Had they but courage equal to desire

C. Facebook and some love story
I felt that sometimes, those people whom I followed, with their huge following, sometimes try too hard that it felt stale.

But then, life teaches that, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything then.

Anyhow, a guy that I followed, always repeats the story of being rejected by girls or so.

I felt bored, so somehow I googled Chairil Anwar (Chairil was famous for making poetry to lots of girls)

Aku kira:
Beginilah nanti jadinya
Kau kawin, beranak dan berbahagia
Sedang aku mengembara serupa Ahasveros
Dikutuk-sumpahi Eros
Aku merangkaki dinding buta
Tak satu juga pintu terbuka
Jadi baik juga kita padami
Unggunan api ini
Karena kau tidak ‘kan apa-apa
Aku terpanggang tinggal rangka
Februari 1943
Source :
untuk Karinah Moordjono

Di antara jeriji itu-itu saja
Mereksmi memberi warna
Benda usang dilupa
Ah! Tercebar rasanya diri
Membumbung tinggi atas kini
Saja. Halus rapuh ini jalinan kenang
Hancur hilang belum dipegang
Kembali di itu-itu saja
Jiwa bertanya: Dari buah
Hidup kan banyakan jatuh ke tanah?
Menyelubung nyesak penyesalan pernah menyia-nyia

19 April 1943
Source :

 D. Facebook content which are more interesting
(Juara Wira full set dari 01 ke 121 (end)

Jengking Merah comic 01

Jengking Merah comic 02

Jengking Merah comic 03

Jengking Merah comic 04
Jengking Merah comic 05

 That's all. Happy reading.


Wednesday, 28 June 2017

sprinkled with emotion

Continuing from previous entry

I found two beautiful videos, short animation that won Academy Awards for Best Animation for 2017 and 2016.

Winner for Academy Awards for Best Animation for 2017 

Winner for Academy Awards for Best Animation for 2016
It was inspired by the director's grandfather, who was imprisoned during 1973 Chilean coup d' etat, and spent his life living in exile from 1975 to 1990.

Both videos touched my heart, I think did shed tiny tears after watching each animation.

Simple yet emotive, powerful, beautiful.