leave me alone

This post http://firdaus-9898.blogspot.com/2014/04/leave-me-alone.html is reupdated on May 1st 2014, the first writing was done previously when Comot and Bubu was picked up from my house and was abandoned. I have rescued them then, but the sad thing happened again,this time Bubu and Comot was picked up from my house and was abandoned at Pasar Kajang last Monday 28 April 2014.. The reason was very private, and I'm devastated truly by all events that happened this week.
This time, I couldn't rescue them anymore as I wasn't allowed to keep Bubu and Comot in my home.

I'm trying to find peace and solace for this "forced" loss, and remembered, all loss are forced. Loss is nothing that we want, it is something forced upon us.

We, as humans, we dedicate our lives for preventing losses. And still, loss continues to be forced upon us.
I'm truly convinced, no matter how close you are with someone, no matter how hard you try to please, no matter how much we like someone, everyone are just as bastard as anyone could be.

And so, I remembered back those times when I was alone at Dubai, Bintulu and other places I've worked with, it was alone.

Then I am reminded by an inner voice, I was alone anyway. I was alone when I came to this earth, and I shall depart alone as well.

And so, there's no need to pussyfoot others. To hell with them. Just leave me alone.

Bubu, Comot. I know God will take care of you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And know that I miss you.

You kittens will be in paradise someday, but I'm not sure if I will. Sorry. Miss you.

"Tears in Heaven" is a ballad written by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings about the pain Clapton felt following the death of his four-year-old son, Conor, who fell from a window of the 53rd-floor New York apartment of his mother's friend, on March 20, 1991. Clapton, who arrived at the apartment shortly after the accident, was visibly distraught for months afterwards. This song is one of Clapton's most successful, reaching #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart in the U.S. The song also spent three weeks at #1 on the American adult contemporary chart in 1992.

"Tears In Heaven"

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven. 

The whole story of Conor Clapton (story 'behind' the tears in heaven)

Rambut Bubu oren macam dik conor clapton.