Saturday, 6 January 2018

poor mentality

Next week I will start back working full time, so I'll just update an entry here before I get busy.


As there are people out side Malaysia reading this, I had to explain a bit as simple as possible in my story.

Well in Malaysia, there are many races, and 3 predominant race here are Malays (the native, although technically this fact can be debated), Chinese and Indians.

Cultural assimilations happens, but no matter how you understand and tolerate each other,
you can't really change the color of your skin.
(I used the phrases "cant really change" because there are people who did plastic surgery to make themselves "white", yet they are still perceived as their original race)

 It is an open secret among us Malaysians, that there is a "divide", that still exist, you can say it due to income inequality and whatever reasons out there.

There is still stigma that Malays are lazy, Chinese are greedy, Indians are drunken people,
and other stigma,
that Malaysian use to "shoot" each other whenever some shit occurs.

Yet, when Nicol David became World Champion in squash from 2005 to 2012,
nobody in Malaysia question her race.
Because she was successful, everybody want to identify with her,
hence people called her as Malaysian.

So do Tony Fernandes (Air Asia boss) and Lee Chong Wei.

So my idea here,
don't get butthurt if you're a victim of racism.

For me, those who have this racist mindset, usually, have poor mentality in their mind.

Get successful and nobody will bother about your race.

Playlist I'm listening today.

  1. 1- Home Alone (00:00)
  2. 2- Chevalier Bulltoe (01:35)
  3. 3- Tonton Alain Michel (05:07)
  4. 4- Festivalbini (10:24)
  5. 5- Motte-Rock (13:38)
  6. 6- Osao San (17:39)
  7. 7- Eric Colson (22:10)
  8. 8- Tigers & Gorillas (28:29)

0:00 Brocolissimo 1:36 Yaaaago 5:03 Trop fort Jéjé 8:13 Saveur cheveux 11:48 Beverly Pills 17:19 Ouad & Khaled 19:22 Tomate polisson 23:15 100% repos 31:26 Clara mystère 36:53 Gérard Blast 41:39 Come to Mexico


Friday, 5 January 2018

Life is but postponement of defeats

Someone I knew is in a predicament, which I could not do much help.

I knew he wanted to vent out his frustration, but I kinda cut the conversation, and just told him my idea how to solve it, and not to think so much about being failures and those negative thoughts, because I don’t want him to turn up depressed.

When a few people, close and personal to me, died, passed away throughout my life,

after the prayers, the Fatihah, Yasin and tahlil.

I will pickup my acoustic guitar (gitar kapok) and play this Carcass - Polarised endlessly in repetition, to cope with the loss.

In this video, the minute 1:56 above is the beauty of this song. Actually I could not play that part as perfect as this fella, I improvised a bit to get the sound closest to it.

The feeling is what Chairil Ahmad said “Life is but postponement of defeats.”

.And after that, you got to rise and continue on with your life.

This too deals with the same theme of feeling "hollow".

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

1st, 2nd and 3rd of January 2018

A. January 1st

I cooked this, as I've promised my wife during an argument previously. (Men always promise things just to stop arguing with the wife)

It was:-
1. Pumpkin cooked in chillied coconut milk gravy.
2. Chillied cooked anchovies
3. Fried Winged bean cooked in chillied soy sauce.
4.  Egg fried with tomato.
5.  Fried dried fish.

B. Indie Writer

I wrote in previous post that I argued with a prominent indie writer in FB.

I felt that if I'm a gentleman, after arguing stupidly with someone, that I should meet him face to face over a cup of tea.

So I went to his office, met him then sat over cups of tea and drinks, food.
From 5.00pm to 4.00am of the next day. 11 hours session of talking listening, pausing a while thinking of something to talk, and repeating the cycle.

But I won't tell anyone what we talked and discussed.

Recently at TV2, they were playing advertisement of the movie The Bucket List to broadcasted sometime this week.

For me the dialogue in the advert interest me the most as it kept me thinking.

(I copied this from

Carter Chambers: What are you so afraid of?

Edward Cole: Just because I told you my story, does not invite you to be a part of it!

Carter Chambers: Oh, like the lady in the bar?

Edward Cole: That's different.

Carter Chambers: Tell me how it's different.

Edward Cole: I build a billion dollar business up from NOTHING! Presidents have asked my advice, I have dined with royalty, and i'm supposed to make out like what? This trip was supposed to MEAN something to me? Like it was gonna change ME? How did you see it playing out Carter, I knock on the door, she answers, she's surprised and angry, but I tell her how much I love her and miss her, and OH, by the way, I'm gonna be dead soon so I'm reaching out to you because I don't wanna die alone?

Carter Chambers: Everyone's afraid to die alone.

Edward Cole: I'm not everyone! This was supposed to be fun. That's all it ever was.

Just because someone told you a story, and somehow even if it's personal, does not give you the right to be a part of it.

That idea blew me inside out.

Anyhow, if I told everyone about it, it'll be a story from me, as if I'm part of it, that is something that I felt phoney.

So it'll remain between the two of us.

C. Making Up with Wife : How Tenaga Nasional Berhad helped

Anybody's wife will be crazy if her husband only turns up at the house at 5.00am in the morning.

I tried to be as silent as possible, with the lowest decibel (dB).

But when I opened the door and stepped inside,

my wife was wide awake, watching "Pak Kaduk 3" at TV2 RTM channel.

She had the most serious look I ever witnessed. Oh shit.

But she was silent. She didn't spoke a word.\

Actually, as a guy, that is a bit relief and a bit of worry as well.

The relief part was the silence, you escaped the "membebel" / babbling / arguing bla bla because it'll drained you mentally.
Listening to a "ceramah" at 5.00am in the morning?

So that was the relief.

The worry part is the silence also means you don't know what will happen next.

I said the sweet words, no reply.

I guessed, the Pak Kaduk 3 story was boring like shit, she got up, she went into the bedroom and locked it from inside.

I understand my punishment then. I had to sleep at the living room.

Then I woke up around 9.00am feeling hot as hell.

I got up and went to the front door to switch on the lights and the fan.

Then I realised, the bedroom's door is open!

Oh Graceful God, I give much thanks to Thee!

I walked coyly to the bedroom, and my wife was just coming out from the bathroom.

As I tried to hug her, she screamed,

"Eh rimas lah, rumah dah lah tengah takde elektrik ni, panas, eh siap siap lah kita keluar breakfast lepas tu lepak mana mana, kat shopping mall ke"

She opened the door because it was hot, and that was because there was disruption of electrical supply from the power provider Tenaga Nasional Berhad.

We spent the afternoon at an air-conditioned shopping mall nearby, and this late afternoon at an air-conditioned cybercafe where I wrote this while she played Tennis Titans.