Thursday 8 February 2018

try to hold on

all the photo here, the source is from :-
https://www.facebook.com/HappyCatsOnline/photos/rpp.1103037019737239/1562191787155091/?type=3&theater


I'll write in Malay today.

Tadi pagi aku membaca FB, tentang seorang economist yang bercerita tentang bonus Tabung Haji.

Entah macam mana, ada seorang Non-Muslim, an Indian guy, memberi komen yang kurang aku senang.

"Race and religion is one of many things manipulated in this capitalistic structure and society".

Membaca komen lanjut beliau, dia menganggap pelaburan Tabung Haji ni macam pelaburan duit yang guna agama.

Sebagai Non-Muslim di Malaysia, aku tak pasti samada dia tahu atau tidak apa tujuan Kerajaan buat Tabung Haji ni.

Ia bukan untuk pelaburan macam ASB. Dia nak membantu Muslim menyimpan duit untuk pergi Haji.

Ini lah masalah bila semua orang nak komen atas semua benda dalam social media.



Sebenarnya aku pun dulu bersalah dalam benda macam ini. 

Tapi mungkin selepas tahun lepas di mana aku banyak kali masuk ke hospital, aku tak tahu lah mengapa, aku mula rasa, those things in Internet are actually, things that doesn't matter much.

Those things, gossips and news, macam nak mencuri masa dan attention kau, supaya kau sedikit sebanyak melupakan kepayahan di dunia sebenar.

Tapi selalunya, yang aku lihat, social media ni kadang2, menambahkan lagi kepayahan, sekurang2nya menyesakkan minda kau dengan pendapat itu dan ini, by those FB literary greats.


Aku kongsi pengalaman aku berkenalan dengan watak2 famous di social media.

Yang kebanyakan kau sangka hebat dan cool itu, kadang2 duit nak makan pun tak ada. Ada yang tak ada rumah dan duduk di office, ada yang duit dalam bank hanya rm200-100 saja.

Dalam masa yang sama, ada banyak likes ramai followers.

Entah, aku sejak akhir2 ni merasakan, dunia social media ni, banyak "fakes". 

It is full of glitters yet it is mostly fakes.

Kadangkala, seseorang melakukan sesuatu untuk likes, atas logik mahu dihargai, tapi entah lah, aku seperti tak percaya tentang itu. Tapi kalau kau memilih untuk itu, silakan. Your choice.


Sebenarnya, aku dan kau, kita ni semua, are just those dying souls. 

Ya, kalau kau fikirkan, ia mungkin menakutkan, tapi factually, semua kita ini hidup menuju kematian. 

Dalam kehidupan masing2 yang mungkin bosan, sesak, mencekik, jadual hidup kau yang entah ke mana.

Aku masih ingat tika awal aku membuat blog ini, waktu itu, aku bekerja sebagai staff sub-con, dan naik motorsikal berulang alik 30km setiap hari dari rumah di Kajang ke site di Klang.

Ya gila, but then that's life.

Dan satu benda, aku tak tahu lah ini mungkin menjadi motivasi untuk orang lain atau apa, kehidupan itu agak mencekik, tapi aku rasa itu kehidupan yang "honest", jujur.


Sejak akhir2 ni, aku lebih gemar dengan FB page Happy Cats, daripada nak ambil tahu benda sekeliling yang aku rasa agak "menyesakkan".

Penat kerja.

Walau apa pun, teruskan hidup dan try to hold on.











Paperback scrawl your hidden poems
Written around the dried out flowers
Here we are, still trading places
Try to hold on

Friday 2 February 2018

paranoid android

Note : all photos here, the source is from http://www.lovemeow.com/orphaned-kitten-left-in-alley-finds-grandma-cat-to-love-in-these-beautiful-photos-2507537881.html


A friend of mine, a girl, was so stressful about the current issue in Malaysia, which is the suicide of Vasantha Priya, a 14 year old girl who hanged herself after a "dispute" over allegation from her teacher that she stole the teacher's Iphone.


Ok, the case is now under Police investigation. The teacher involved is now under Education Ministry supervision, and her fate will be decided after the investigation.

In summary, the issue is undergoing a process.

My question to that female friend, why you get so stress over this?


It's just like the case of that tahfiz fire who killed 23 students last year.

https://www.nst.com.my/news/nation/2017/09/280541/keramat-tahfiz-tragedy-teens-started-fire-cooking-gas-petrol-after

When it happened, most noises in the social media suddenly get emotionally heightened, blame "penunggang agama" / those who abuse religion for profit, blame tahfiz schools and imply that those tahfiz schools doesn't give much damn to the safety of students, only using religion to cash in as much as possible.

History of previous burning involving tahfiz schools, implying that the schools aren't safe.

In the end, the investigation proved it was an arson case.

And suddenly those who were emotionally heightened, became quiet. No more blaming.


I myself was also one of those social media bloody noises.

A fortnight ago, I was hell on Facebook making noises supporting #undirosak movement. Comments and noises.

Then the KLSCAH forum happened. And suddenly it made me to question things.

I asked the #undirosak fellas, why are you guys harping so much about Maryam Lee, and not Fahmi Reza?

I felt Fahmi Reza's case was more "oppressive" compared to verbal abuse to Maryam Lee.

The answer to my question, "why? Do you want to start donation for Fahmi Reza, is it?"

I kept quiet.

Then I was told "Relax mate, the case is still under undecided in Court. We see how to progress after the case is decided".


Look at the current news happening in Malaysia.

https://www.thestar.com.my/news/latest/?tag=Nation

- KUALA LUMPUR: A man has claimed trial to 200 counts of raping his then five-year-old niece, at a Sessions Court in Ampang here.

- PORT DICKSON: Police have obtained a seven-day remand order against a couple over the death of the man's nine-year-old daughter.

- KOTA KINABALU: A man who was seen in a viral video jumping on top of a car at a roundabout in Likas here is a drug addict with a criminal record.

- KOTA KINABALU: He had a promising future ahead of him, but the 18-year-old Filipino has probably blown it for supporting Abu Sayyaf.

- KOTA KINABALU: Two more state government engineers with the Sabah Railway Department have been arrested, bringing to seven the number of people detained in a graft probe on suspected fictitious projects and claims.

- SUNGAI PETANI: The man who was caught on video fondling a young girl under her dress at a funfair and trying to kiss her pleaded guilty at the Sessions Court.

- PETALING JAYA: Teachers have been reminded to adhere to the standard operating procedure (SOP) when dealing with cases of theft following the death of a 14-year-old Penang schoolgirl who attempted suicide after being accused of stealing her teacher’s handphone.

Ok. The world is shit. We all take note of the news above.

But must you spoil your mood and stress yourself over those news?

Do all those news, demands your explaination and review in Facebook, and you feel like a Social Justice Warrior over an injustice world, and made you stressful after that?

Then, comments and reviews in your FB comment section, replying each other, sometimes shooting each other back, heightened emotions, and made you more stressful.

In the end, like the Fahmi Reza case, or the Tahfiz case, we still rely on the mechanism in our society, ie. police, Courts, even though most of us in Malaysia, mistrust the Government, or what you might term as the System.

It's ok and your democratic right to make noise, but I'm just concerned over your stress.


A heart that's full up like a landfill 
A job that slowly kills you 
Bruises that won't heal 

You look so tired and unhappy 
Bring down the government 
They don't, they don't speak for us 

I'll take a quiet life 
A handshake of carbon monoxide 

No alarms and no surprises, please
Silent, silent 

This is my final fit, 
my final bellyache with 

No alarms and no surprises please 

Such a pretty house, 
such a pretty garden 

No alarms and no surprises please

Friday 19 January 2018

affixed by disconcern

Source of the next 13 photos:
















And the source of the below photo is my wife.
my niece, Chayra, 19 Jan 2018

Today, Chayra is sick with diarrhea. She's tired but she want to play, but she was tired and is tired.

Me too.

I told myself, there's no need to update the blog, to bla bla so much in the social media, but I'm just like Chayra.

I'm tired but I want to play, but I was tired and am tired now.

Too many things in the social media, from Undirosak movement,
an Indian kid who got killed at a low cost flat just because some dickhead threw a chair from above,
a non Muslim who debated Islamic stuff with a Muslim in FB,
the news and the feeds,
the noises,
and all the other noises, 
whether white noises, background noises, screams, whispers, propaganda, talks.....it's just that everyone want to speak, because they think, to validate their existence, to validate their thoughts.


I'm like Chayra, I'm tired but I wanted to make pretty speeches in the social media.

Instead, I felt numb and dumb.

Actually over this week, I've written few things, about my argument with my wife, some things about friends, people in the social media, 3-4 writings at my PC,

but then at this moment, I'm just overwhelmed by a mega magnitude of disconcern.

So here it is. A blog entry with the spirit of art collage.

Since I've wasted your time reading this, I guess it's pretty good to actually give you back something worthwhile. So here it is. Go and download it

Jacques Derrida
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1rTygSTDYWaMze07lnUeWveaBOGF-ooeS


Albert Camus


Soren Kierkegaard
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1lE01s40_t_vIC1j7LBlhyOILHdE5nom_


Immanuel Kant
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1vsLe2y8SphjUbCrIePvl4nvGmJNpQk88


Martin Heidegger
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yVrnIeIo-t85XP9FRrqqIQIWdPZBra7a


Jean Paul-Sartre
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1R-YnBwWuMVkb4H1VxM66ek41TmbwVQ6D


Friedrich Nietzsche
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1PpQtwG8wimUe66BbPaunjsHLWI7c5b1y


Ludwig Wittgenstein
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uohxCiEgCprdpOwmgXgDQazj22YxuFJY


Baruch Spinoza
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1n4I96Dc9_WVjSc0cp201fzc92RbomfNZ


Arthur Schopenhauer
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ApbLcZVBS4yzKo_vu15efK2cTIO4YWhQ


Rene Descartes
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1PwqN1D--ORML1yH6tQm2ankX_XbhxLrV


Noam Chomsky
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Pjhz5UGdn2sZa97UQBuxz5NlLkavaOtz


Hannah Arendt
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BILq40Y8RnICfoRQB7oMv0_ernGBJgxT


Syed Naquib al-Attas
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B30M7T4ZbrJaQVhVd0RIYTJhUTA


Karl Marx
https://drive.google.com/open?id=12ZKMVpYkywQ20THvSK2iCluG9xt66dQx


Syed Hussein Alatas
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1097_I5VEqnzSUdJt1pVQ54JY8r-SH2et


Rabindranath Tagore
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1YqDQzpiLzI803nz6eNzpDIsQ7UTkJx5g


Confucius
https://drive.google.com/open?id=10FRUpzPMgsllidHXgjLNs8qTdLjUZTNM


Leo Tolstoy
https://drive.google.com/open?id=13wIZtsDdWjBFA5YtEE1rD0QEsWqRH1gr